The act of cheating – a terrible experience

Being cheated on is one of the most heartbreaking and traumatic experiences a person may be exposed to. Figuring out that your partner is not who you thought he/she was, lying to your face like that, can traumatize your trust in people for good.

Thanks to degrading sense of moral values and rising need of insta-gratification, people tend to cheat more lately. They say that they do it for reasons like not being happy in their current relationships, the thrill, boredom. I say it’s a poor man’s excuse.

Someone who cares so little of people that are closest to them have no right to be excused. And I do not care that some might counter argument this by phrases like “oh, life is too complicated”, and “these things happen, every life is different”, “you would do the same if I you were me”… No. Just no.

You are acting this way because you know know that what you are doing is wrong, and shifting blame on your surroundings because you can’t deal the harsh truth that you are the bad guy/gall here.

But like all bad things in life, it has a beginning, and while the their act is in it’s infant stages, catching them acting out their selfish and treacherous intentions early on might save you a lot of heartbreak and fear moments. And one of the easiest ways to do so is to just to watch them use the tool every one of us carry around nowadays – a smart phone.

The role of smart phone in our relationships – a friend and an enemy

Thanks to the new technological advances we have been reaching in this day and age, a portable multi tool like the smart phone was born to our world. Most of people today have one – some even more than one.

We all use them. We all spend our time communicating through them. And while it is a great gadget to have for it’s many functions and comforts, smart phone also help people to do terrible things – and the worst part, it helps them do it in secret. Most of cheating is done through texting – it’s simple, it’s easy and it can be untraceable by deleting your chats every so often.

The bad news is, those who cheat usually hide their affairs and will probably remove their talks with their partners in crime in case you check their phones.

The good news is, all of our actions leave traces in devices we use. And you have to be really tech-savvy to be able to remove them completely.

And while I believe that you would go some lengths to catch your partner cheating – like hiring a forensic investigator to read their phone data, even the one that is deleted – there are some easier “psychological warfare” type things that can really make your cheating SO slip on their slippery affair slope.

The psychological side of cheating

Fear makes us do stupid mistakes. Cheating is no different here. Your partner is most probably scared of you finding out they are having an affair with someone. They don’t want to deal with consequences – and so they hide it.

But guilt and fear is a deadly combination that works against the goal of keeping a secret relationship beside your real one.
Let’s face it – you probably know your partner well. You have by now at least somewhat familiar with their habits, the way they do things, the way they act out in certain situations.

And that is a powerful weapon over someone – humans are creatures of habit. And that makes them vulnerable.

This exact reason is why you might catch someone cheating through texting without even seeing their texts!

The twitch, the rush, and the give away – how to catch a cheater texting

If you have not yet paid attention to your partners texting habits, try to observe them first. Notice details like their typing speed, their face expression, their body language. This will be their “normal” state.

Now try to find yourself in a situation when they are texting nearby. There are a few approaches here:

  • Try to walk in from behind them unexpectedly, and casually ask them what’s up with them. Check how they will react.
  • You may ask straight up whom are they texting to. Again, see their reaction.
  • Ask them if you could borrow their phone for a second to “check the web”.

Which ever approach you will take (make up you own even) make it sound casual and everyday like. Do not show that you suspect them.

I guarantee that their reaction will look at least somewhat unnatural to their usual behavior. And as the headline says – they might twitch, they might rush to close the chat app, and they (unwillingly) will give away the fact, that they are doing something fishy here.

The harsh reality of life

Being involved with someone who cheats is as bad as it gets in relationships. It sucks even more when you have to confirm your suspicions and find evidence of such acts, then confronting your significant other – the one who was suppose to be on your side all the time…

But it is not the end. It’s just another bad relationship. And good riddance, I say! As hard as it gets, you dodged some bullet by finding out about their affair and cutting that fake bond off.

There are plenty of truth loving and trustworthy people there. It’s just like with everything in this life – things that are worth it and here to stay take time to find – so is with people as well.
So take heart. Be brave. Be vigilant. Be strong. Be loyal. And above all – make sure that your partner is as well.

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